Lovely Nikki

You are insane
a perfect smile shadows over your dark humour
laughing the loudest only at best of jokes
drunk on the vivacious nature of life
and all around
only falling in bath tubs when curtains are loose
showing ass only feels right when you do it

Clear bottles of joy go with you everywhere
rain or shine
I turn my calendar excited for the next time
but I can’t have you
as much as I want you
it wouldn’t work
even though it’d be fun for a while
yet where we are is fine
the opposite would be painful

You eyes meet mine
pulling me in as they always do
deep in your gaze I must break away
to save face in front of others
like maybe your boyfriend for one
and also my suspicious friends because they know me

Hell with it
why shouldn’t we try to make it work?
Actually, maybe not

Snails Only Attack A--holes

There are mass amounts of snails
mangy mollusks with coiled shells
not tough to notice them
entering my pristine property
from the hideous hillside
from below my property line
so I decided to strike first
so along Reseda
I’ve heavily treated
my landscaping for this
continuing crisis
since they slime slow over my fences
and burrow their radulas onto my roses
daisies
and petunias
those armies of snails
sluggish moving creatures
who hate the feel of salt
yet the
damn herbivores hungering for my garden
persistently approach from my hillside
day after day
and the majority of snails aren’t terrestrial
therefore please instruct
contracted landscapers
to spray death juices on the mountain
to seriously f-ck the snails
since I’ve spent over $50,000
upgrading the grounds
which are being destroyed by these pests
that overflow from my trash cans
smelling up my estate
and scaring waste managers away
strangely