Sunday, April 1, 2007

The Christopher Walken Bash

Skip heavily promoted his First Annual Christopher Walken Bash, a truly solid justification to commemorate the brilliant actor’s birthday. It was a grandiose theme party for everyone’s favorite weirdo hero.
There was no doubt Skip would be ready upon my fashionably late arrival.
And believe it or not, Skip can take a conventional picture when females request to do so.
Lance went old school, adorned in army apparel straight out of The Deer Hunter, a movie that earned Walken his only Oscar win.
Russian roulette would’ve exhibited dangerous consequences, so the implication it would be played was nothing more than a bloated implication. Skip decided to focus on safer sports. Rolo told a hilarious story of how he once fell down the hill outside, apparently showing off his defective balancing skills while greatly intoxicated by mysterious fruit juice.
We can all take pleasure in the fact he’s doing well now, although permanent brain damage cannot be ruled out. On another note, I hadn’t seen Eagle in a while, but there he was, beaming his green laser around in all its grandeur, an entertaining treat when not aimed at planes.
He really is a Basher through and through, could probably be one of the few to match me drink for drink.
Poker Guy made an appearance as well with his lovely girlfriend who I hadn’t seen since the Eagle Rock Summer BBQ Bash of ’06.
We started discussing poker, so I began talking mass amounts of trash after heavy vodka consumption, especially considering the sad fact that my handle of Captain Morgan got housed in about a half hour.
I also think I’m the only one that notices how Lance never overtly picks up on women, instead opting to lay in wait. His method isn’t one I recommend to the novice, but he skillfully manages the dashing style to a degree that can be universally accepted as flawless, since the results are always him pulling chicks on the down low.
His wasteland of whores doesn’t pile up to the unprecedented level that Wayne Maxwell flaunts, but Lance has mastered the art of sniping fine prey, something that Skip does without ever procrastinating.
At one point, I was nice enough to let these two hammered ladies into the bathroom ahead of me.
One thing I can’t stand seeing is jitters caused from alcohol-related bladder expansion. In the meantime, Lance surprised no one by helming the turntables gloriously and utilizing Joel as a worthy sidekick.
Raj came into the Bash with a bit of a morose slant, so Lance quickly elevated that on the fly.
The number one mission Raj has undertaken revolves around winning his first Basher of the Year Award, a prize that he seems well on his way towards capturing. That might be trouble if Tommy has anything to say about it.
I was able to convince Ericka to go, a feat that overwhelmed me in the days leading up, for once fearing that rejection was possible due to time passed and differences in our new outlooks on life. I’m glad I underestimated the possibility of success.
Skip demonstrated, yet again, that his dancing skills are second to none and perfectly honed in regards to picking up women. They can’t get enough of those moves.
I’m also glad that some moves can be smoother than Skip’s.

1 comment:

Amanda Lee! said...

Amazing! It's Danny Glover-esque! Well done! I definitely did a shot for Walken that day!