Monday, January 8, 2007

Snails Only Attack A--holes

There are mass amounts of snails
mangy mollusks with coiled shells
not tough to notice them
entering my pristine property
from the hideous hillside
from below my property line
so I decided to strike first
so along Reseda
I’ve heavily treated
my landscaping for this
continuing crisis
since they slime slow over my fences
and burrow their radulas onto my roses
and petunias
those armies of snails
sluggish moving creatures
who hate the feel of salt
yet the
damn herbivores hungering for my garden
persistently approach from my hillside
day after day
and the majority of snails aren’t terrestrial
therefore please instruct
contracted landscapers
to spray death juices on the mountain
to seriously f-ck the snails
since I’ve spent over $50,000
upgrading the grounds
which are being destroyed by these pests
that overflow from my trash cans
smelling up my estate
and scaring waste managers away

No comments: