Yesterday night I couldn’t stop thinking about Ericka.
After listening to Double’s “The Captain of Her Heart” while driving home last night, I was emotionally bludgeoned bad, lyrics scarily representing what we had, more than likely mirrors what we are now.
Santa Barbara isn’t far away, world apart is one thing we are though. Never had an acrimonious split, never actually called her a girlfriend, but we’d hang out all the time, have fun time after time. I’m sure someone’s been captivated by her perceptive intellect and heavenly body, impossible to avoid in front of you. I wonder if she’s in love.
Rare is comfort felt agreeabily spooning someone you love into the vast land of dreams, and you dream so sweetly in each other’s arms. The fantasies of your castle in the sky, together forever. I should’ve told her of my love.
Very lonely when I think of her, the yearning, the longing for. The last time I saw Ericka we kissed, she didn’t want me to leave, but I did, and today I don’t even know why. She was kind, too humane to ever live in Los Angeles. It would suck her soul clean, doesn’t possess thick enough skin or resilience to the rampant pretentiousness, too sensitive positively.
The genuine pain I feel now will go away, but she’ll always haunt me. Being sidetracked into the ultimate game of feast versus famine in Hell hasn’t remotely chipped away at boundless want.