Monday, November 20, 2006


I dunno, Mondays always seem to come too soon, without further thought added to the compromises we make. I think about the girl (to protect the innocent/guilty, name not revealed) I banged Saturday night, the one where strings aren't tied together, done just because it felt like fun to the both of us, plus being obliderated by alcohol happened to help things carry on further. Nice girl, maybe I'll have her again, although I doubt it.

She has a bit of a facade about her, the way she approaches every day life and the people surrounding her. One thing to be good-looking, yet worse is the curse of foolish pride. She definitely suffers from both, not sure if she's medicating herself either, elevate her dwindling and strange self-esteem issues. She was two people locked in a bitter battle underneath her porcelain skin.

I just ponder why some people hit it off sexually, and besides that, there's absolutely nothing you have in common. Can't say that charge happens all too often, and I know my life would be much different if so, but it does lead to a rough struggle within the heart, the kind that lingers unnecessarily, loaded with questions like "is this all there is?"

Possibly, I could just be hard to satisfy, need some excess mental stimulation to go with the rest of the package. The girl in question was rather humorous in an offish sort of way, the tinge of snobbery behind slightest commentary, the way she would sometimes seem to speak down to her friends, belittle. I guess the humor comes from a dark place, and I found it funny in an eager train wreck watcher sort of way.

The hangover I still have continues to wreak havoc on my current interests. Wish worry was a part of the vocabulary, which is all but quashed from the Bayer.

Been invited out tonight, the cycle is never ending, and with tonight comes the inevitable search for love interests in bars and Jacuzzis. I haven't signed up for it, they always know what to expect with what I bring to the table. I think the best course of action is to reflect on what has happened and what will happen tomorrow.

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