Elephants, Promenade & Porn

With Christmas days away, the proverbial white elephant bash surfaces this evening at Greg and Vickie’s pad in Silver Lake. Got the invitation recently, today decided to cast aside my modest Grinch and join the festivities. Number one question was what gift to bring along, what would succeed, what would everyone want, what would I want?

“It's a simple-find a gift around your house you think someone else might get a kick out of (or find a funky gift in a thrift store, on the black market, in an alleyway for around $10 or less) and wrap it. The funkier, more off beat (but still cool somehow) the better.”

First off I walked the Santa Monica Pier, mostly because I hadn’t for a while.

Then I went to my usual haunt, the Santa Monica Promenade, sifted through the aisles of the Puzzle Zoo (the place stressed me out majorly so I had to leave before stabbing someone), Urban Outfitters, Gap, redneck cowboy store, and even attempted random candle store with clearance sale in the depressingly bleak and empty Santa Monica Place.
Except for the food court, the mall is deader than disco, the majority of the stores closed down with surely more to come. The Promenade has probably helped in putting scores of these stores out of business. It's just a lot prettier outside.

I love visiting the Promenade at least once a week because of the variety of stores to browse, plus the cutest girls cruise it with the exception of Melrose or Venice Beach.The Promenade was bustling in parts, some people carrying fat bags in hand hoping to finish off Christmas shopping before the last minute flock.

It’s impossible to stroll the Promenade without seeing a rebellious transient being cited for vagrancy or worse.
After anxiety heatedly crept in, I found my gift at Barnes & Noble, figured this might do the trick:
For white elephant bashes, optimal offering is a gift both sexes can take pleasure in and really “get a kick out of.” After piecing through the many occupations inside, like nudists, stoners, Santas and twins, there’s something for everyone, and since a couple entries made me laugh aloud I deemed it a winner. I’m also throwing in my Best of 2006 CD for the hearing impaired.

The problem with white elephant and books, especially in Los Angeles, is that I have an unyielding belief that many people in this town don’t read or border on illiterate. For many, books look good on shelves, not opened. At least this risk shows a highbrow edginess in my manner.

Raj got creative, apparently putting together a shoebox full of porn, courtesy of an editor he knows over at Hustler. I’m sure all the males in attendance will fill with envy at the sight, wishing it was the gift they had gotten. For a girl, on the other hand, it’ll probably be met with a fake smile and total disgust.

Vickie promised I’d drink sick doses of egg nog, which I know The Hat is hating right now. I passed on the $30 year-end Echo Park poker tournament because of tonight, much to the chagrin of Lance who persistently insisted on calling me a rude slang term for vagina.